I do not own a feeling

I do not own a feeling.
It is there.
As a youth I was told, educated, conditioned into believing that feeling was somehow mine.
I owned it and it certainly did not own me.
Everything was attainable, with diligence and a little luck, and in a free world, one has freedom.
Hence all was within one’s grasp.
I could decide, even if I loved you, or not.
On this note
Instantaneously and without warning, time shifts, light pales, decades disintegrate in microseconds.
Without physical movement the sky becomes 30 years ago, myself a young man, buying Pizza on 23rd and 8th in Manhattan.
Here in this Notting Hill ‘studio’ the present transforms itself.
A segment of my life, brought alive in the glorious, digital, photo-shop, of my magic carpet ride.
It will pass this time travel, faster than a New York second, as does life, and this being ‘I’ call ‘I’, whom is mainly a stranger to me, for my days and nights, are spent mesmerised by the content, of this dazzling blue Planet, in which we be.
There is no time to even remember myself, as I contemplate the affairs of others, mull over the state of democracy.
The choices ‘I’ apparently see, in this phantasmagoria of a solar system, surrounding me, outside of me.
The youth thirsty for knowledge, the 30 year old in Manhattan are dead, yet within my blood and breath.
It is late.
The morning, noon, afternoon of my life, are over.
It is teatime and evening approaches.
The scent of sunset, its hues and flaming fables, pervade these perceptions drawn to my finiteness.
The ceasing of my being, is not an end of life nor love.
These will continue long after the resonance of my note, in this tune of the universe, has faded.
I do not own any of my loves, nor they me.
We were given to be in the space of ‘love’, for a moment, before it passed on.
Because we thought ‘love’ came from us, we blamed the ‘loved’ for its disillusion, instead of praising the experience.
I own nothing.
It is a privilege to visit this Earth, to be hosted here in this body, so all of me, may experience this given life.
Before I go, pass over, let me sense my presence on this planet.
I do not own, the feeling, I feel.